3001 Hennepin Minneapolis
This is a restaurant that I have given more than a couple chances to get right. I love Parasole and was hoping that this restaurant would be just as good as the others but I was let down all four times.
Go to the Cafeteria with a group and plan on getting sloshed, since the drinks are the best part!
For starters we were instructed to try the Warm Cheddar Drop Biscuits and Blue Chips. Don't get me wrong they are both awesome! But I couldn't help but think while I was eating the biscuits the caloric count or that they simply tasted like those Pillsbury rolls my mom makes when she didn't have time to go get fresh bread from the store. Its also hard to think that you pay 6.95 for bread that would normally be included in your already pricey meal. Too bland to be an appetizer by itself but would be good if it was included in the meal or with soup/salad. The Blue chips are a home-made kettle chip with blue cheese crumbles, bacon and scallions. These push "Man Nachos" to a whole different level, the only thing missing is the wing sauce and big screen. The chips are very tasty on their own and the blue cheese and bacon put your taste buds over the top. Very pleased to see an excellent new appetizer in uptown! If you can get over the fact that they aren't the most healthy thing you could digest you will enjoy.
Now lets get to the best part! The drinks!
The cafeteria's drink menu seems to be divided by sex. Which is totally fine by us since for the most part our men drink different things than the women. So I will start with the girly drinks:
First off, completely amazing that the Cafeteria took it upon themselves to understand the light weight females in Minneapolis! They have a menu of "Good Girl Martinis" for $5 all day. This is perfect since martinis can be so strong and so pricey to start with. This gives us ladies the chance to sip a little bit of heaven. If you need a vacation try the Bo Derek. It is a tropical martini where the coconut melts in your mouth. Plus you get introduced to Oprah's favorite flavor: Blood orange. If you are a gin girl like Miss L try the Joan Collins, it is a light martini with a kick of gin. Although the Uptown Girl sounds cute, the brandy is overused and definitely not a "good girl" drink to start out with. Off of the Good girl menu there are some jewels as well. Now listen to me ladies and listen to me good: you can not leave the cafeteria until you try the F-Bomb martini. It is a mix of "Effen Black Cherry, St Germain Elderflower, Triple Caff, lemonade and Cranberry" and it is truly a kick in the ass to start your night right. May I also repeat that this is not a "good girl drink," two F-Bombs and your ass won't be able to get out of your chair. The drink also tastes good, it reminded me of those cherry spritzers that we drank as kids. The Pretty in Pink martini isn't bad but you will be able to tell that it isn't as awesome as the F-Bomb. Also, the Fashionista is a disappointment especially when you are self proclaimed like my friends and I. Again, I think they over did it with the orange vodka.
All men were pleased with the beer list. As drinks go, all the men swore by the Whiskey Business drink. It has "Ril whiskey, Southern Comfort, Goslings Ginger Beer and fresh lime juice." From the look on the boys' faces the Cafeteria could survive on Whiskey Business and F-Bombs alone.
For the food:
-Monte Cristo- This is a great "man-which" if you will. Very tasety.
-Grilled Cheese Deluxe- "Too much butter" I kept hearing. And from the looks of it the cheese was litterally sliding off the bread.
-Grilled Chicken and Brie-From my opinion this is the best sandwich that the cafeteria offers. Its fresh, there isn't much butter and its flavorful.
-As for the Burger, lets be honest, its probably good but if you are going that route get back into your car and drive to Burger Jones.
-PatPong Shrimp Pad Thai- First of all I'm not sure why this is served, its the only item that really doesn't fit with the rest of the menu. It is a huge portion of noodles with three pieces of shrimp. The sauce is excellent but the meal is overwhelming and looking at other people's meals you may sense some jealousy.
-Four Cheese Mac & Cheese- This was again very buttery but this time no taste.
-All you can eat Fish Fry (Friday Night Special)- I was thrilled when I found out that this was on the menu. The fish wasn't that bad it was the overwhelming amount of fries that made me mad. The price is $15.95 which didn't seem that bad at first but honestly, you are going to be paying for plates beyond plates of fries. I got my first plate and saw that there were two pieces of fish and a plate full of crinkle fries. I figured it was all right since the fish was all you can eat. I asked the waitress for another plate and she brought out one piece of fish with another plate of fries. After finishing the third piece and feeling ripped off, I ordered one more piece (which each piece took about 30 minutes) but I asked her to please not include any fries as I already had a table full now and I hate wasting food. Sure enough after 30 minutes of waiting, one small piece of fish with a plate full of fries arrived at my table. This was very disappointing especially since the fish was so good.
I can't talk about any shakes or desserts since we were all so full every time we went.
The atmosphere is nice, it has a retro feel and makes you feel comfortable. If you get a chance check out the Sky Bar, the furniture is trendy and its a nice place to go after work. However, do not go to the Cafeteria on a hot day, there is no air, the flies are horrid and worse yet your sweaty legs stick to the vinyl seats.
Summary: Go with a group, order the blue chips as an appetizer, order the F-Bomb or the Whiskey Business drink, and then order the Monte Cristo or Grilled Chicken and Brie. And do not attend on a hot day.
Please feel free to leave a comment if your experience was different or you came across something I missed.
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